And finally ...
The British Ambassador to Warsaw, Charles Crawford, provoked controversy recently when he derided several EU institutions and the new member states in a tongue-in-cheek e-mail that found its way into the media.
The e-mail was a spoof speech written by the Ambassador for the British Prime Minister, which Crawford hoped would bring an end to the arguments over the next EU budget. In it, Crawford labeled new member states as "ungrateful" for not approving the budget proposals by the current British presidency.
The Ambassador joins a long list of politicians who contracted foot-in-mouth disease this year in Poland. The current government is still trying to put out fires over the Finance Minister Teresa Lubińska's assertion that foreign investments from companies such as Tesco were "not welcome" in Poland. Indeed, the Minister seems to have learned her lesson and trying to get a straight answer from her on any topic these days is a favorite game of journalists.
Blood on the dance floor
One person who isn't afraid to speak his mind is Self-defense deputy Piotr Misztal. In November, while at a disco in Łódż and a little worse for wear following a few drinks, he threatened to beat up and kill revelers, before threatening to call in the Pruszków Mafia. When police tried to intervene, he said he would call in a favor from the Interior Minister Ludwik Dorn and have them all fired.
To justify his actions, he said he was hit when defending the name of Self-defense. "I was only checking how young people have fun and whether they are safe, I am also their representative," he explained.
At least if he had called on the mafia, Misztal would be safe in the knowledge that he was getting a quality service. According to analysts from Jane's Intelligence Review, Poland is the only country in the CEE region where the Russian mafia has not managed to take control of the local underworld, because the local hard nuts were too tough to crack. In the mid-1990s, the Russians tried to muscle in on the Polish scene, but following several high-profile hits, the red criminal menace retreated back to the safety of their home stomping grounds.
Whoa, Nelly!
However, if keeping party members in check is difficult, spare a thought for Civic Platform leader Jan Rokita. Voters were left wondering who wears the trousers in his household in the run up to the general elections. Nelly Rokita, Jan's wife, said the party was not ready to run the country. Her husband magnanimously responded that she was entitled to her opinion, but was not a spokesperson for the party. Oh to be a fly on the wall at the Rokita dinner table that night.
Pardon me
The outgoing president, Aleksander Kwanewski, was never far from the headlines this year, and while clearing his desk he found time to hand out a few pardons.
While public support favored clemency in the case of businessman Sławomir Sikora, who was sentenced to 25 years' imprisonment in 1997 for killing two gangsters who had been blackmailing him, there was public outcry when Kwaniewski pardoned former Democratic Left Alliance (SLD) member and bosom buddy Zbigniew Sobotka, who was serving a sentence for tipping off SLD party members prior to a police raid. Kwaniewski refused to explain his decision and a statement from his office said: "According to the law, the President of the Republic of Poland may pardon any convict. This decision is independent of anyone's opinion and does not require an explanation." There's nothing quite like friends in high places.
Nazi youth
The League of Polish Families (LPR) also has a knack for particularly disastrous PR. In November, a number of pictures surfaced showing members of the party's youth division greeting each other at a party with Nazi salutes. The youngsters previously earned the ire of the party by having parties in the office of the party's leader, Roman Giertech.
Indeed, the far-right seems to be quite popular in certain parts of Poland, especially when it come to business. The German National Democratic Party (NPD) is never one to let its own principles get in the way of saving a few euro. The far-right party has long campaigned against German companies taking advantage of lower costs and wages in Poland by moving their work across the border. However, when it came to printing its party newspaper, the NPD had no hesitation in finding itself a reliable printing house for a knock-down price - in Poland.
Bomb scare
Another relic of the Second World War also made its way into the Polish headlines in October when a primary school in Trzebnik had to be evacuated after a nine-year-old boy brought a live hand grenade to a 'show and tell' session. Piotr Ernst took the hand grenade from his father's collection of WWII memorabilia after the teacher asked the class to bring something interesting to school.
No one was hurt in that incident, but another story in March could have had the bodies piling up in the town of Sieniawa Żiarska.
Dr Death
German pathologist Gunther von Hagens sparked a storm of protest when he bought a factory in the town and announced he was planning to use it for processing corpses. The controversial doctor prepares corpses for public display in his controversial Bodyworld exhibitions. Justice officials responded by threatening 'Dr Death' with prosecution if he went ahead with his plans.
These weren't the only corpses hitting the headlines. In November, scientists announced that they had discovered what is thought to be the remains of the father of modern astronomy, Nicolaus Copernicus. A skull and partial remains were found in Frombork Cathedral, where Copernicus worked before this death in 1543.
The haunting
However, it wasn't someone from beyond the grave that tormented one Italian castle owner, but a wily Polish woman pretending to be a ghost. The woman was jailed in January for impersonating a ghost after a campaign of hate against her husband's employer at the 15th-century Castel Coldrano in Laces, Belzano, on the border between Austria and Italy.
Rather than call in the ghostbusters, police installed video cameras and found the culprit to be nothing more terrifying than a middle-aged woman with a grudge.
