Can we still eat duck?

As we compared the duck with prunes (a simple, Polish-style dish) with the duck á l'orange (a time-consuming French recipe) we pondered whether we were committing some sort of offense, and whether - by any chance - the prosecutor's office, or at least the 'Bureau of Poland's Image' would take an interest in us.

The friends were foreign, to tell the truth, but as they have been in Poland for several weeks, ardently studying our language and culture, they have become sensitive to the issue of ducks, honor and national image. What exactly are the borders of freedom of speech, expression, humor and meals in the Fourth Republic of Poland? Is one allowed to roast ducks, stew them and cut off their wings? As we gnawed the meat off the bones and nibbled on the potatoes drizzled in sauce and duck fat, we considered these questions - difficult, but absolutely crucial in the national perspective.

Challenging art

As far as art is concerned, the issue is perfectly simple in Poland. Anything that does not tickle the fancy of the League of Polish Families, or local councilors with sensitive feelings - especially sensitive religious feelings - is not fit for exhibition, but rather grounds for arrest, while artists and their quirky creations should set off to the demoralized West.

This much is clear. What is also clear is that no European newspapers may make jibes either at ducks, agricultural crops (especially potatoes and beets), or our national might. No one can question the fact that for historic reasons we, the Poles, deserve a great deal. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this. Therefore a suitable office was set up to clarify these matters, and to attach a halo to the image of Poland, or rather to put one over the head of Deputy Defense Minister Antoni Macierewicz, when his labeling of most of Poland's former Foreign Ministers as Russian spies leads others to doubt the purity of his intentions.

Mind your manners

The Polish government has also decided to finally crack down on uncouth behavior, but only if it concerns the most important issues, namely the head of state. Suitable legal regulations have long existed, but there was no reason to use them, since the issue of mocking the previous President Aleksander Kwaśniewski was not as important as the mocking of current President Lech Kaczyński. Indeed, under communism, mocking First Secretary Władysław Gomułka led to immediate consequences, which did not require any legal regulations at all.

Recently in Warsaw there has been a hunt for a representative of the anti-governmental mafia, the notorious Hubert H, who, disguised as an intoxicated homeless person, was preparing a plot against the Presidential office that aimed to belittle the prestige and authority of the head of state with uncouth behavior and insulting remarks. The head of state's prestige and authority are so sensitive as to resemble the undeveloped religious feelings of people who don't have any understanding of modern art, but who do have the power to gag it.

Bad behavior must be challenged, but with the right measures. You can't fire a cannon against an ant, since the owner of the cannon would only make a fool of himself. Uncouth behavior has always existed, as have impolite people, but it's too hard to combat them if such behavior is tolerated within one's own ranks.

Lead by example

Since the Kaczyńskis' brigade marched to power, thanks to methods such as revealing the military records of opponents' grandfathers, and once in power appointed former publishers of right-wing publications to the governing boards of public television, it cannot claim any credibility when it moves to educate Poles to be 'real patriots' (despite establishing institutions to conduct such significant tasks) nor when counteracting uncouth behavior or thuggery.

The president should also know that in some situations it's better to demonstrate magnanimity rather than narrow-mindedness. It's better to show one's common sense rather than wounded pride, since a sensible person does everything in the right way, in the right place, with the right people and in the right proportions. That's Aristotle.

But coming back to my dinner. My friends liked the ducks. They only complained a bit that the breasts were too small, and rumps too big.

Magdalena Środa is a philosopher and ethicist at Warsaw University and a former Government Plenipotentiary for the Equal Status of Women and Men