Tech Eye: Keeping the ladies happy

Techeye's tradition of gadgetarily captivating the female of the species dates back to our youthful village fairs where we tried to peddle our patented Man Motivator (cattle prod) to the local fishwives. Sadly we only sold about seven of the genius tools to Honeyblossom the school marm (not counting the two which cantankerous Grandma Techeye stole "fer fixin' the gout") and these were returned anyway after complaints that the voltage was too low.

The resulting depression drove us out of the inventing business, but the experience taught us two valuable lessons: that it's better to impress the ladies with other people's hard work than with our own, and that Grandma Techeye is flammable. Armed with this wisdom we struck out on our career as a reviewer.

This week we tested our amorous luck at a local fashion show and tried to put a spark into some altitudinous runway models. None proved interested in the Man Motivator, so we whipped out Pro-Idee's Sofa Guard to try and bestir some gaunt loins.

At 138 x 29 x 3.5 cm, it's designed to cover your furniture and (with the help of an 105-decibel alarm) scare off any pet that attempts to get some comfortable kip while your out. But who can imagine any respectable catwalk fashionista would put a mat on her Chesterfield, much less frighten her scarcely continent pet Snookums. So we described the Sofa Guard as a refrigerator alarm, to be laid out in front of the fridge as a means of steeling any dieter's resolve. That indeed caught the celery chompers' interest and Techeye had a struggle deciding which three to go home with for a "demonstration."

We haven't seen any of the girls since that angular afternoon, so the Sofa (refrigerator) Guard may be working too well. Regardless of which furniture or appliance needs guarding, it can be ordered for around zł.110 (plus shipping) from http://www.proidee.co.uk.