Tech Eye: A mostly true story
Sadly, unlike in Hollywood, this glorious insurrection was mercilessly crushed and we were exiled by a foul-breathed agent of iniquity.
Well, ok... technically the evil was speakable - it was, in fact, known as "cafeteria food" - and the rebellion was more of a premeditated foodfight which ended in the unlucky (but hilarious) befoulment of a certain teacher's apparently expensive toupee. And our foul-breathed antagonist was none other than Mother Techeye, who, after our expulsion from school, banished us to a gruesome land known in myth as "military school."
Techeye's stint at military school was short, but we endured a variety of tortures during our time there, such as the "atomic wedgie" (involving one pair of clean briefs, one victim and three burly sadists). We learned a number of life-lessons in that school too, like the fact that its best to use one's roommate's toothbrush for toilet-cleaning duty (it's also important to keep one's own toothbrush hidden) and that there is no such military rank as "Bung-stuffer First Class."
The greatest lesson we learned, though, is that toilet stalls should always have doors, especially when there are two rows of toilets standing opposite each other with only about a meter's distance between (giving the occupant of one toilet an all-too-keen view of three other toilets). Let's just say that the day the mess hall served rancid burritos was Techeye's last day at military school.
Thus cafeteria food marked the start and the end of our military school ordeal. We still have trouble thinking about it, but we've recently found a new way to hide from our problems - Rosalie Monod de Froideville's Hideaways. This textile technology is specially shaped to human contours and is perfect for those moments when hiding in plain sight seems the best option (don't expect to go unnoticed, though, unless you order a Hideaway made from some kind of camouflage fabric). Rosalie's creations are more art than mass product, so expect to pay between zł.5,700-7,640 for one. Look for them on www.artolive.com or just search the web - you'll find them.
