Tech Eye: Bow down and open your wallet
So any time we have a new spiritual bandwagon to leap onto, he's our first port of call.
First there was the Seventh Day Band-ventists who convinced Uncle Prophet that drug-addled classic rockers The Band were going to lead him to salvation with the power of rock. Charles Manson also didn't disappoint, but he and Uncle Prophet fell out over a minor spiritual matter on whether the Stones or the Beatles were better, and so they went their separate ways. Then there was the flirtation with Buddhism and Hinduism, after Uncle got trapped in the mysterious East End following an unfortunate turn of events during one of his more profitable slave-trading ventures (it took him five years to escape from the East End - he had never been to London before and vowed never to return).
After that things took a turn for the worse and he got into some really obscure and twisted god bothering - Scientology took its toll, the Quakers got a good run for their money, and only when Madonna got involved in Kabbalism did he realize that it really was for full-blown nutjobs and not just your average lonely mug on the street.
His latest wheeze, inspired by Semir Osmanagic and events in Bosnia, is pyramid-worshiping. Uncle Rabid is convinced that pyramids hold the source of all power and every time he sees anything that looks vaguely triangular (be it a hill, tree or a bar of Toblerone) he is liable to throw himself down on his knees in front of it, roll around on it or eat it. So he was as happy as a crack fiend in Harlem when we discovered this mystical wonder, which has stopped him wandering the streets for several days now.
This is Aigo's F529, and it's an mp3 player-cum-speaker. Sound comes from its five-watt omni-directional speaker, which means that, much like the voice in Uncle Rabid's head, you can hear it clearly pretty much anywhere. The mp3 part is fairly run of the mill, but the bit that gets Uncle Rabid foaming at the teeth is the 4,096 different colors it shines in, changing with each tune. Expect to part with around zł.400 to get one, but it's a lot cheaper than Kabbalism and your friends will still respect you afterwards.
