Tech Eye: Dealing with your latest nemesis

Techeye has had more than our fair share of nemeses over the years, from Cross-eyed Susie McCormack, who used to play 'you show me yours, I'll tell the teacher' with us behind the village schoolhouse (a game we played many a Monday morn' and never seemed to win), to Stan Moore the emotionally destitute ladyboy-enthusiast.

Then there's our most recent nemesis: the upstairs neighbor and his extensive collection of experimental-death-metal records. Many's the evening that Techeye's velcro-fetish therapy session has been interrupted by angry screams dripping through the ceiling, forcing us to stagger upstairs to demand that the hygienically challenged metalhead turn down his volume.

Any student of comic strips knows that an arch-enemy requires a special strategy to be defeated, involving brawn, wit, bravery or any combination of a host of other traits Techeye lacks. Our only tools are the newest toys sitting around our house and, with these, we plotted our revenge.

After consideration we decided on the old 'reverse Trojan Horse' technique and invited our neighbor down for a test run of Designatics Production's Sonic Chair. With a number of high-quality speakers embedded in its frame, we knew this comfortable, cup-shaped chair was sure to tickle his fancy, and the upgraded model we showed him contained an integrated AppleMac to thrill his not-so-inner geek.

We promised our arch-enemy the latest Iron Maiden bootleg, but once he had crawled inside the Sonic Chair we 'accidentally' knocked over a couple of bookshelves (trapping him inside), set the classic Peaches and Herb smoocher "Reunited" on repeat, turned the volume up to max, and promptly moved house.

Whether you're looking for the perfect place to listen to music or need to perpetrate some form of aural revenge, a bog standard Sonic Chair can be ordered from Designatics Production for around zł.22,100. If you want the plusher version it'll cost you a bit more.