Tech Eye: Lost and found
Usually, these moments of self-doubt, reflection and industrial-strength-cleaner abuse happened shortly after we had left one of the many institutions that have littered our life over the years. When we left home for the first time, it seemed a step too far. True, we were ejected at the tender age of 11 after Auntie Puritan TechEye found our secret stash of adult literature, but following some soul searching, two weeks spent sleeping rough in the nearest field, and no small amount of groveling, we managed to worm our way back into our default abode.
Then, when we left school, much to the relief of the local educational board who decided we couldn't repeat our final exams for a record sixth time while claiming unemployment benefits, it took a full six-month home-brew bender to get over our personal sense of apathy. Some years later, when the local psychiatric ward slung our hook after it discovered we had faked the papers to check ourselves in and we hadn't actually heard any voice that told us to "burn them all, Beatrice," it took some time to get us back on the straight and narrow. We've even turned to God and have lost count of the amount of crackpot religions we tried on for size before deciding that God-bothering wasn't for us (Scientology was the gimcrack straw that broke the camel's back on that particular spiritual journey).
Like many things in life we have found our solace in a technological substitute that won't run away or sue - introducing Helio's Drift. This nifty mobile, produced by Samsung, does everything you expect from a 3G mobile device, and includes a 2.12-inch high-resolution display, stereo Bluetooth, 128MB internal expandable memory, two-megapixel camera with 4x digital zoom and flash, MP3, MPEG-4 and VOD support. The really flash part is its GPS capabilities, which allow you to find out where the hell you are and where the heaven you're going using Google Maps. So if you are looking for direction in life, forget the Dalai Lama, and shell out around zł.700 for this answer to nearly all of life's problems.
