Tech Eye: Swimming with sharks

In our native land the dawning of summer was always greeted with a hearty party. First the fatted cats were slaughtered in a day-long homage to the old gods of the land who will some day, the local pagan sect adamantly maintains, rise up out of the sea and judge us all in a merry bloodbath that will be a harbinger of a greater Armageddon on the Earth etc and so on (for years now we've been trying to quietly force that pagan cult out of the village, but their patented alternative mood-enhancing agricultural crop is a strong part of the local economy and rumor has it they can also curse us).

Then, because the locals like to hedge their bets, we would duly troop off to the church to listen to the local padre tell us how we would all burn in hell for our sins unless we upped our donations to the church roof-rebuilding fund.

Then the annual big summer barn dance would commence, and rarely has a greater outdoor festival been seen - cats on spits over open fires, the traditional mass pensioner brawl at midnight to see who is crowned king of the fogies for another year, and the punch-the-neighbor's-child-with-no-fear-of-legal-reprimand stall all make it the highlight of the local social calendar. 

Summer also affects the locals in other ways - no sooner has the sun peeked out half an eyeball, and the temperature rises to a scorching 16 degrees, than the locals strip down to their nether garments and turn a pale shade of lobster while mowing the lawn, mopping their brow, and swigging from a life-saving-sized bottle of cider. Then for the young ones it's off to the local effluent-treatment plant for a quick bit of skinny dipping. And what better way to explore its murky depths that with this aquatastic beauty - the Seabob.

Not content with treading the water, wannabe Jacques Cousteaus can plunge beneath the waves to a depth of 40 meters while clinging for dear life to this beast. The underwater jetski can reach speeds of 20km/h depending on how pudgy the passenger, but they will need to lighten their load by around zł.30,500 for the privilege. And there you were thinking yourself all kitted out with your poxy snorkel.