Tech Eye: Techeye for the voyeur guy

The number of girdle-related mishaps we've suffered over the years are truly legion and the spandex-chaps revolution we fomented never quite caught on. Last year's near tragedy in Tonga, caused by a leather man-thong we lent to King Tupou, almost blighted the dignity of an entire nation (we did advise against getting it wet).

However, none of Techeye's stylish brushes with catastrophe have bestirred as much botheration in our friends and family as our recent habit of wearing a tie. True, the tie is an accoutrement par excellence among the crowd whose elbows regularly rub our own, but we've always been more the cravat-and-birthday-suit sort.

Particular dismay was expressed by members of the family, at least initially. Grandma Techeye was quick to remind us of how Great-Uncle Mortimer Techeye's ill-fated tie-napkin hybrid, the Pneumatic-Nepkin, proved to be his doom (though it also proved remarkably well-tailored for mopping up chunklets of cranium). Every time we donned our plaid auto-asphyxiator, another kinsman regurgitated Titus Vestricius Techeye's old adage: "Beware the Ties of March!"

Ah, but when we demonstrated the technological merits of our neck noose, the family's approval was quickly granted. Indeed, Spycatcher of Knightsbridge's Body Cam-Tie is the kind of gift every dodgy dad wants for his birthday. Its miniature pinhole camera boasts 450Tvl resolution and the recording unit, which slips neatly into an empty pack of fags, records both video and sound.

Unfortunately, as we discovered, this high-fashion gadget alone is not enough to win a position coaching women's gymnastics, but we haven't lost hope. The Body Cam-Tie's casual elegance may yet open doors in a number of venerated industries, including women's fashion, corrections or mud-wrestling. Regardless of your intentions, it can be ordered from www.spycatcheronline.co.uk for around zł.3,130 (excluding VAT).