Tech Eye: The birth of useful things

Science has birthed (simple) machines on the molecular level, midwifed a genuine tomacco plant and married the toaster to the radio, yet the Holy Grail of technological design, the synthetic French maid, remains frustratingly beyond its lecherous grasp.

So many wonderful inventions remain as yet unhatched. Why, for example, has no inventor addressed the world's woeful lack of edible frisbees? These would be wildly useful for picnics - toss one around and, when you get tired, dust it off and have a snack (this would admittedly be disgusting if you'd been cavorting with a canine companion). Another stunning scientific omission - why haven't hyperactive children been harnessed as a source of green energy? Doing so would save the environment and break OPEC, although a new sugar cartel would undoubtedly rise.

Perhaps we're being unkind. Certainly technology cannot be expected to overcome every hardship at one time, but it often seems as though simple ideas are left unimplemented, despite an obvious demand for them. Take this week's gadget, for example - Sony's "better late than never" CDX-GT520 CD receiver. This car radio represents a mid-market head unit (costing around zł.374) with easy Ipod connectivity as well as both satellite and HD radio readiness. It's also got a wireless card remote, which, despite Techeye's well-documented love of all things remote-controlled, seems like a good recipe for a car accident.

All of this is great, but the question stands as to why, oh why, it should take so long to get such an obviously useful item from point A (geeky designer's brain) to point B (Techeye's dampish, tomacco-stained vehicle)? There's only one satisfactory answer, of course - extraterrestrial interference - so we're left to rail against the heavens themselves. We're just hoping that the next big product to hit the market will be something useful like a bathtowel-radio or kitten-shaped microwave. That would tide us over until Science finally secures the Holy Grail.