Tech Eye: The future of Techeye
Such an epiphany might occur upon hearing your parents sing Like a Virgin as a duet, for example, or accidentally snorting pickle brine.
Techeye has had a few such instants of pregnant rumination, like the time when Cousin Alastair Techeye added hedgehog sex pheromone to our shampoo at Boy Scout camp - we survived the ensuing ordeal, but it remains a very tender subject. An episode when we were almost executed in Suriname for the crime of "mass mopery" (exposing one's self to a crowd of blind people), an occasion we decided to add "electricity flavor" to a homemade pizza and, especially, our harrowing stint as a Jewish Mohel - all of these moments changed the path of our life.
Techeye's latest moment of truth was a little different, partly because we had our pants on when it arrived - for once - and partly because we weren't running away from the person shouting death-threats at us. This fork in the road came on April 25, after nine long months of "fetch me more whisky" and "stop snorting that pickle brine," when our alpha wench finally dropped sprog in an event described by one impartial bystander as "revolting, yet emotionating."
As new and improved Pater Familias Techeye, we're already planning the best way to impart our vast wisdom to little Droolbucket Techeye. We ruminated long and hard on what to make our first present to the munchkin - something both practical and educational, while at the same time graced with an air of nobility - and finally settled on the perfect gift: Under Development, Inc's Beerbelly. This ingenious tool has an insulated bladder with a six-beer capacity and a discrete tube which allows the wearer to covertly imbibe the beverage of his choice. It also fits comfortably under the average stained t-shirt.
Of course, we'll have to wait until our progeny at least starts grammar school before we put any fermented beverage in the gadget, but we think of it as an investment in the future. The Beerbelly is available from www.thebeerbelly.com and runs around zł.100.
