Tech Eye: When lo-tech trumps hi-tech

A few unfortunate souls (whose names shall never be spoken) have even been excommunicated from the family, although most punishments are tailored to fit the crime. When crazy Cousin Techeye was caught ogling 18th-century dishware at an antique shop, for example, the Elders had her stripped, dipped in tapioca and locked in a room full of starving centenarians. The punishment for our own adventure with a standard shovel is best left undescribed - suffice it to say that the sight of Momma Techeye's new in-ground pool brings a foul taste to our mouth.

In some rare cases, exceptions have been made and lo-tech solutions reluctantly employed by the Techeyes. Such was the case when poor Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Techeye invented the infamous "Steam-powered Electro-Abacus," which promised to revolutionize the accounting industry with its pneumatic beads but, due to a problem with electrical surges, had a tendency to amputate fingers. Another ancestor's dabbling with a "Hamster-powered Depilator" meant that, until the recent invention of electrolysis, family photos were rife with badly tweezed uni-brows.

There is, however, one area in which no Techeye dares to challenge the frontiers of progress too boldly - bathroom tech. The family has had an uneasy pact with tradition in the water closet ever since Ancient Uncle Hieronymous Techeye failed spectacularly with his "Petroleum-fired Chamber Pot."

Lo-tech doesn't have to mean no-tech (or no style), though, and that's why Techeye has looked into Herbeau Creations' "Dagobert" Wooden Toilet Throne. This kingly contraption will lighten your psychic load with its flush chain and bell, its handsome solid Ash frame should withstand bodily criticism and its music box, which plays Le Bon Roi Dagobert when the lid is lifted, is guaranteed to move even the most stoic of souls. The "Dagobert" Wooden Toilet Throne will set you back around zł.36,111, but Uncle Hieronymous (bless his blistered buttocks) would undoubtedly approve.