Tech Eye: You want to put that where?
We had numerous juvenile court appearances at an early age, thanks to a host of unproven scurrilous rumors that we were seen lurking with intent near the local Fishwives' Association Hall with a fresh box of matches and a copy of Arson for Dummies shortly before said hall burned to a fishy crisp (despite our theorizing, the smell that lingered thereafter was not, disappointingly, similar to that which emanated from the local fish and chip shop).
This little miscarriage of justice eventually landed us in the unenviable position of having a big day out at the real men's place of judgment. Hence we found ourselves with a noose around the neck beneath the local lynching tree of a Friday afternoon as the usual baying mob called for our blood while waiting for the pub to open.
Luckily the Man on the bench that day insisted on letting justice run its course, and after the prosecuting attorney submerged us in water with our hands tied behind our back, we didn't float, thereby proving we were indeed innocent of arson. Ten minutes, one near-death experience and a stout bit of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation later, we were free to go. However, in passing judgment, The Man insisted we go for a little holiday to "recharge our batteries" and so be conveniently out of town when the government bureaucrats investigating our archaic justice methods swung by the following week.
Thus, we found ourselves bound for St Tibulus' Home for Reckless Youths for a week of battery recharging and soul sanctifying. Seven excruciating days of Bible-bashing, fervent praying, sleepless terror-stricken nights waiting for Brother Artemus to appear and dispense his special form of absolution later, we returned, batteries and lust-to-kill firmly recharged to the brim.
However, the good people at Moixa Energy might achieve what electro-shock therapy failed to do in the various institutions we have frequented over the years. Behold the USB Cell. What appears to be a rechargeable battery flips its lid to reveal a USB socket that plugs in and, much like a junkie fresh from a crime spree, it will juice itself up in no time. Get yours for about zł.77 a pair.
