The Year in Review. In other news...The lighter side of 2007
January
Marcin S. made a rather felonious New Year's resolution. The drunken 24-year-old kicked off 2007 by stealing a car from the small village of Stróża and driving it a short distance into a ditch. Unable to go further, he asked for help from the inhabitants of the nearest house in the village. Upon arriving at the ditch, however, the occupant of the house immediately recognized his neighbor's car and called the police…
Meanwhile, a caring father decided to visit his son in prison and give him the gift of speed, namely 172 amphetamine pills. The father hid the pills in his underwear but was caught by the police when he tried to pass the pills to his son…
February
Moving into the second month, scientists discovered that plants are people too. Experts claimed that vegetables feel pain and panic before someone starts to cut, slice or peel them. Physiologists have proven that potatoes contain adrenaline, a sign that they can sense danger…
Similarly, some people think that politicians are people too - annoying people. At the start of the year daily tabloid Fakt published a list of the most irritating politicians based on a TBS OBOP opinion poll. The "winner" of this contest proved to be Self-defense leader Andrzej Lepper, whom 38 percent of the public found irritating…
March
Then-Prime Minister Jarosław Kaczyński received a letter in March from a would-be assassin. Inside the envelope, employees of the PM's Office also found three bullets, each for a different type of gun and each one was addressed. The note read, "for you, for your mother and for the cat…"
April
Two would-be car thieves, Jarosław C., and Arkadiusz R. from Zielona Góra, broke into a VW Golf parked on the outskirts of the city with the intention to steal it. Their first attempts at starting the car were unsuccessful, however, so they decided to relax with a bit of vodka. Meanwhile, a passer-by who saw them break into the car called the police. By the time the police arrived, the two thieves were lying in the car sound asleep, having emptied two bottles of vodka. When they finally sobered up, they were in jail…
May
A crackdown on short skirts was called for by politicians as summer approached. Law and Justice deputy Artur Zawisza wanted to deprive drivers of some spectacular roadside scenery by demanding that women standing next to highways in short skirts be prosecuted. Zawisza proposed that then-Justice Minister Zbigniew Ziobro include it as a crime in the penal code - as passive incitement for sex…
Drivers pressing on to Belarus were told in May that their cars must carry a condom in its first-aid kit. This new regulation was introduced by custom officers from Belarus…
June
As summer got underway, police and politicians attempted to remove temptation from Poles' reach. The League of Polish Families (LPR) prepared a draft bill to help solve the problem of drugs. The bill envisaged penalties for the owners of bars and restaurants where drug dealers operate and included fines and imprisonment for producers of items bearing the image of marijuana leaves…
Meanwhile Waldemar Ratajczak, the Police Commandant in Świnoujście, announced an ambitious plan to battle topless sunbathing at beaches on the outskirts of the city. According to Ratajczak, topless sunbathing was immoral and would be severely punished in 2007. "Such a misdemeanor, according to the code, can be punished by a fine of up to zł.1,500!" he said…
July
A laptop, LCD monitor and a hard drive were stolen from the Wrocław branch of the Internal Security Agency (ABW) in July. The thief had an easy job after climbing into the building through an open window. ABW officials found their lack of internal security so embarrassing that they tried to hush it up, but the news got away from them…
August
A second government edifice came under attack in August when an unknown gunman shot out a window at the Agricultural Ministry in Warsaw. The broken window was not discovered by ministry employees until the day after the shooting…
September
In September, former President Aleksander Kwaśniewski did little to improve his campaign platform when he allegedly got drunk before delivering a lecture to Ukrainian students. He staggered, had glassy eyes, disheveled hair and broke into barely audible muttering at points during his presentation at the University in Kiev. Kwaśniewski made a strong impression on his audience, eliciting laughter several times. "Maybe I had a glass of wine, maybe 10. I have the right to do what I want. I am a free person," he later told journalists…
October
Police entered a convent in Kazimierz with the help of a locksmith to evict a group of nuns embroiled in a two-year dispute with the Vatican. The police detained the former Mother Superior of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Bethany Family, Jadwiga Ligocka. The conflict began when Mother Superior Ligocka started to act and make decisions based upon her private revelations...
November
Female soldiers are to get what they have long demanded - uniform shoes and boots that are both comfortable and fashionable. Poland's uniformed ladies have previously boycotted unappealing army shoes and used their own during work and parades. In addressing the issue, the army asked a dozen shoe companies to come up with designs for new footwear for its female members and shortlisted three firms. Six designs have been pre-approved and are now being tested by army women. The new designs have sharper toes and better-profiled heels. Women in the ground forces will also get new berets, and the changes are not stopping there, as new "slim fit" army trousers are also being planned. There was no word on whether uniforms for men would be further masculinized…
December
At the close of the year it emerged that the myth of the lazy Pole in the United Kingdom had finally come to an end. According to research conducted for UK tabloid Daily Mail, British employers prefer employing Poles over British citizens. It has even become fashionable for citizens of other EU member states to claim to be Polish. Czech and the Romanian citizens are most likely to pretend to be Polish when applying for a job, according to the research, and British companies generally regard foreigners as more devoted to work and more reliable.
