Zbigniew Piekarski performs an anthropological study on Polish business practices

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

-Charles M. Schulz, 1922-2000

Now that the hopes and dreams of the people of Poland have been raised, we have to make sure that foreign businessmen wanting to establish relationships with the local business community know the rules of the game. This is important, as for many foreigners the market itself has been the source of civilization, liberty and economic improvements over the last several centuries. Because of this they are under the illusion that a proper free-market economy is incompatible with a state that intervenes to the detriment of the participants and would find it hard to believe that institutionalized plunder and looting still exist.

Yet Poland's "Sour Flour Power" generation are determined to benefit themselves at the expense of the country's population and its reputation in Europe.

Corruption exists in every society, but here it is so open, so blatant and so uncouth that there is a danger that Poland will become known as the "Land of the Ham" (Ham being a Polish word for a rude person). After all, golonka is a favorite meal and pigs are one of the few animals that are cannibalistic.

At the top of the heap we have the political appointee, the proverbial "Pan Prezes." He is a stocky male, well past middle age, prone to wearing ill-fitting suits and sweating profusely. His knowledge of the actual mechanics of the business he represents tends to be non-existent, as his only purpose is to extract his 10 percent.

He will have a very attractive and brassy "personal assistant" whose nails will be immaculate and long, thus restricting the practice of any secretarial skills she may possess.

His office will be large and spacious, as befitting a man in his position, and will be totally bereft of any signs of actual "productive endeavor." However, on prominent display there will be a personally autographed photograph of a woman, and it will not be of his wife. Pan Prezes will recline in his large, leather upholstered chair while much smaller and sparser seating arrangements are provided for visitors.

The probability is that you will meet Pan Prezes twice: at the beginning and at the end of any negotiations. If, at the initial meeting, he uses the expression kłaniam się ("I bow to you"), then you know that he expects a relationship based on power - one of servility and servitude.

Additional proof is given by the deferent and obsequious manner in which his "employees" approach him and by the dismissive nature of his responses. Should you take him out for a meal it will then be confirmed by the way he eats his soup (head to spoon and not spoon to mouth).

You will do all of the negotiations with his "subordinates," who, for the most part, are very competent individuals. Once the negotiations are complete and the fine details agreed, Pan Prezes will attend the signing ceremony. He will be late and in a hurry. He will dash in, sweating profusely; sign in the places that his lawyers point to, and then dash out as he has to concentrate on more grandiose matters and is totally disinterested in the mundane tasks of actually increasing prosperity within society at large.

In the middle of the heap we have the "competent bureaucrat." Now you may believe that a competent bureaucrat is an oxymoron and, for the most part, you would be right. However, the inspectors from the Tax Department are competent to the degree that they line their own pockets. They levy fines without actually knowing whether they are right or wrong and receive a commission on the amounts collected. Therefore, they are only concerned with the firm's willingness to pay based on the "nuisance threshold." If the work that an appeal creates costs more man-hours than the fine itself, the firm will pay regardless of the justice of the case. To any foreigner this is an abuse of power without responsibility and, more importantly, without accountability. If an appeal is upheld and money is returned to the company, then the individual responsible is rarely disciplined.

At the bottom of the heap we have the "incompetent bureaucrat." These individuals see the state as the vehicle for the realization of their plans. They have chosen job security and a share in the exercise of power derived from the state, however small. They do not understand the discipline of the profit and loss account nor the risk that is run in any business venture. All that they care about is a share in the perceived wealth of the risk-takers whilst, at the same time, doing their utmost to hinder the development of commercial activity.

All three of these "role models" steal, but the proceeds of their actions rarely enrich their lives - they define their lives.

When a bear market has become established, just before it starts to do its worst two things happen: public service workers go on strike and the politicians and press rediscover the vital role played in any economy by the "small to medium sized enterprise". It is then that individuals begin to realize that governments do not create wealth, businesses do; governments merely redistribute the tributes that they extract for the privilege of being located on their territory.

With membership in the EU and "globalization," businesses will have a choice as to which Lord they pay their tribute to. It is already happening, the first steps have been taken and the coffers of some Lords will run dry, as will the job security of their servants. The teachers in France are aware of this probability. They have been on strike 11 times this year.

On the WSE: You may have noticed that the side effects of bovine intestinal gases on the global climate are taking hold, with the driest May in 50 years and temperatures well above the seasonal average. This does not bode well for the WSE as the boys and girls take extended holidays to enjoy the sun.

After six weeks of gains the WIG20 has reached the levels first seen in April 1994 and is some 50 percent off its March 10, 2000 highs. Since we are now entering the Dead Zone (the time from the end of May to the beginning of September when markets fall more often than they rise), I predict that the lows of October 2002 will be breached either this year or the beginning of the next.