After the flood
Grand KredensAl. Jerozolimskie 111Tel. 629-8008Hours: Noon to 1 a.m. dailyCredit cards accepted
They say the ruins of Noah's Ark rest somewhere in the mountain ranges bordering Turkey and Armenia. I'm not so sure. I think the skipper of biblical lore was able to navigate past those relatively trivial obstructions before crashing into an even more foreboding obstacle: an utterly featureless, thoroughly 1970s block of worker flats down the road from Warsaw's central railway station. Call it divine intervention, but without it the city would not be the home to Grand Kredens - a restaurant that looks like it set up in the hull of the broken boat.
Grand Kredens is no secret to many expats and Poles, who tend to spend long lunches clinching deals in the idiosyncratic nooks and crannies of the eatery's dark recesses. Nevertheless, we thought it high time that the Business Journal took another look at what many say is the best Polish restaurant in Warsaw, if not the world. Despite the accolades though, it's still certainly one of the more oddball.
Kredens means "cupboard" in Polish, and the eclectic hodgepodge of items decorating the place could make you feel as though you've been tossed into the dark pantry of an eccentric aunt. Above me hung a row of butchering devices ranging from the vegetable mincing variety to the medieval beheading type - a touch that left me slightly uneasy throughout our meal. Kasia, one of my dining companions, thought the interior dizzying. "There's too much stuff in here," she complained. "It's too busy." Jeff and Greg, on the other hand, warmed to the rich, dark atmosphere, with Jeff describing it as "ski-lodge chic." At any rate, the restaurant offered the four of us plenty of eye candy.
The most difficult part of dining at Grand Kredens may be in deciding what to order. The menu is as thorough as Noah's original checklist, and the place offers diners nearly the full gamut of God's creations including a wide variety of meat, including venison and other game, salads, cheeses and pasta. It took us some time to make up our minds. Meanwhile, the waitress brought us our water, as well as complimentary bread, pickles and smalec (lard). Our palates whetted with the salty goodness of pork drippings, we placed our orders.
Kasia and Greg started off with soup and I chose the duck carpaccio, all of which arrived within minutes. Greg quickly proclaimed his wild mushroom soup as the real thing. "It's slimy," he said. "It really tastes homemade, with several varieties of mushrooms." Kasia, however, was disappointed with her onion soup. Although it contained thick wedges of cooked onion, the broth was too sweet for her taste. My duck carpaccio served under a bed of arugula and capers was tasty, although it could have spent a little more time out of the freezer before serving. Parts of the thinly sliced meat were still frozen.
With our appetizers finished, our entrees soon arrived. Jeff's venison goulash was perhaps the winner of the afternoon, though none of our meals was bad. The goulash served in a bread bowl and accompanied by potato pancakes and a spread of pickles was a fulsome affair, with Jeff singing the praises of the large hunks of tender meat. Greg was surprised to find that his penne pasta with salmon sauce also came with several shrimp swimming alongside pieces of salmon. Unfortunately, the sauce was made difficult to swallow by the pasta that was on the undercooked side of al dente.
Kasia, too, ordered pasta and her plate of spinach lasagna was served still steaming in the baking dish. The only complaint she had of her cheesy mix of spinach, noodles and sauce was the mound of herbs provencal that sat on top of the lasagna and drowned out the other flavors. After my carpaccio, I decided on lighter fare and ordered the capreze salad - a plate of sliced tomatoes, mozzarella and avocado. These items were served with a sprinkling of balsamic vinegar that served well to dress the moist cheese, tomato and exceptionally fresh avocado.
Stuffed from our entrees, but curious what other delicacies the restaurant offered, we decided to share a couple of desserts. It was a toss-up as to whether the creme brulle was tastier than the tiramisu, but it's safe to say both were divine. The crystallized sugar atop the creme brulle was thick and crusty and went well with the creamy custard below. The huge portion of tiramisu was rich and delicate and quickly devoured by our legion of forks.
With our bellies full and sipping on the last of our espressos, we warmed to this likable oddity of a restaurant. For a moment, I even forgot about the lethal weapons hanging over my head and allowed myself to slip into the sweet numbness of food coma.
Our lunch, including water and espressos came to zł. 350 ($83).
On the menu:
Forest mushroom soup zł. 20
Duck carpaccio zł. 30
Venison goulash zł. 42
Penne pasta with salmon sauce zł. 31
Spinach lasagna zł. 36
Creme brulle zł. 20
Tiramisu zł. 24
William Nichols
