Art for art's sake
Tonic Caffee ul. Marszalkowska 77/79Tel. 622-1777
Open daily 7:30 a.m.-last guestCredit cards acceptedRes. for large groups only
When I first heard that a new cafe had opened in downtown Warsaw, I was a little suspicious. After seeing many epicurean wannabes close their doors in failure, I get tired of raising my hopes about the next "great place" that promises to spice up the city's generally insipid culinary landscape.
So, rather hesitantly, Leszek and I went to check out a new hoped-for gastronomic hot spot, Tonic Caffe.
What first grabs you about Tonic is the color everything is very pink. Maybe it's the association with Molly Ringwald's acting career that has given me such an aversion to the color, but, nonetheless, pink it is. Thankfully, though, someone had the good sense to build an upstairs. And that person should be given an award. Whoever was commissioned to thumb through the past few issues of Wallpaper and finally design a truly stylish bar in Warsaw has brought a sigh of relief to the thousands of people craving a kicky place like this.
Upstairs is a swirl of tans and faded yellows amid a theme of circles circle mirrors, circles in the ceiling and a Partridge Family bar. No, there's no groovy dark plywood, but the colors behind the bar shout in an otherwise mellow room. Chill-out music played at perhaps a decibel above comfort norms and a huge, tan pleather booth sat waiting just for us, with a view of Warsaw's main downtown artery, ulica Marszalkowska.
All these touches make for a pleasant backdrop to what everyone at Tonic is really there for: to look and be looked at. The clientele is hip, the waitstaff is stunning, and the bartender felt so confidant that he decided to wear his new Summer 2001 Armani sunglasses. Needless to say, I was curious about how a bartender, even in Tonic, could afford such luxuries, but then I thought maybe it was just time to order.
We decided to go for a sampler, expecting to savour the chicness of our new find. For those who don't speak Polish, it's time to make some Polish-speaking friends because this new glam bistro has "Polish only" written all over it. In fact, the waiter was surprised when I asked him if English-language menus would be appearing anytime soon.
We started with soup and salads. Leszek ordered the krem z borownikow i prawdzikow (wild mushroom soup), some tsatsiki, and the salatka z camembert i marynowana gruszka (salad with Camembert cheese and marinated pear). I ordered the salatka Marcin (Marcin salad) and the mala ciabata z kurczakiem grilowanym (small ciabata sandwich with grilled chicken). Enjoying Tonic's ambiance, I failed to notice that our waiter had delivered our hefty sampler of dark bread and garlic herb butter, but it was tasty if not well hefty.
Soon, our appetizers arrived. And looking back on it, I think I should have stuck with the bread. The tsatsiki was a bit of a find, though, as everywhere else I've been in Warsaw tsatsiki translates to runny goo with an absurd amount of garlic in it. But this tsatsiki was good: creamy and tasty with a socially acceptable amount of garlic. However, while the soup was equally tasty and the sandwich delicious, the salads were less than spectacular. In fact, they were tasteless. Leszek's Camembert salad was a shocker a whole wheel of Camembert slapped on top.
I too learned my lesson that cheese does not mean taste. On the menu, my Marcin salad looked like an interesting experiment in fusion cooking. But it turned out to be a mess. Baked cheese topped a salad swimming in Tonic's special sauce and pineapple bits. I actually had to ask for the menu back as I wasn't sure that I'd received the correct dish. I went through it item by item and, yes, all the proper ingredients were there just somehow disproportional.
Yet, we weren't quite willing to give up on Tonic. The food was presented beautifully: organic sculptures and wavy lines of sauces surrounding otherwise bland salads.
So we ordered again.
Someplace so stylish had to have better food. We must have simply made some unfortunate choices.
I ordered the filet z lososia z bazylia, fasolka i zielona salata (salmon filet with basil, beans and green salad) whereas Leszek was game to try his favorite dessert, krem brule (creme brulee). Now I've lived in various places and one thing I've learned is that you don't order fish if you can't smell the sea. That's been confirmed for me now. The main dish rivaled the salads in their tastelessness, but at the same time their stylishness. In fact, after three bites I couldn't eat any more. Leszek even tried to cheer me up by picking up the dish and pointing out that the flatware was Italian. No go. I was simply going to wait for my revenge: Leszek's dessert.
My revenge was sweet, too.
Congealed vanilla pudding does not creme brulee make. There was nothing to do but push the food away and order a drink from their well-stocked bar. Drinks are cheap and the scenery is good.
To sum up, Tonic is a great place to meet people, nosh on an appetizer, have a few drinks, and be seen lots of form, little function. But the best thing about Tonic is they've got great ventilation for the sticky Warsaw summer ahead.
Dinner without drinks came to zl. 117.50 ($29.50).
On the menu:
Krem z borowników i prawdzików zl.12
Tsatsiki zl.8
Mala ciabata kurczak grilowany zl.10.50
Salatka Marcin zl.18
Salatka z camembert i marynowana gruszka zl.21
Penne pesto zl.7.50
Filet z lososia z bazylia, fasolka i zielona salatka zl.34
Krem brule zl.14
Editor's note: Our regular reviewer, Celia Barnes, will be back next week.
