Delivering the beef
I've never seen anyone walk in to, or out of, the London Steak House. In fact, the only person I know who has eaten there before is my husband. Every now and then he would make the suggestion: "Let's go and try the London Steak House. I haven't been there for years." But I usually put the kibosh on that suggestion. To me, the restaurant exudes all the charm of a mausoleum. It's dark and ominous and has a big marble wall out the front so even if there were people dining inside, you wouldn't be able to see them.
And being a theme restaurant, complete with a red phone booth out the front, the London Steak House is a bit of a one-trick pony. It must have been dining hell when the mad cow crisis hit, sending restaurant patrons running to KFC across the street in droves. Even the colossus, McDonald's, acknowledged the scare by launching its first McPork burger. Short of taking the word "steak" out of its name and transforming itself into the "London House" tearoom serving dainty cucumber sandwiches, this joint clearly had to ride out this bout of meat madness. But it seems that finally the Meat Lovers' Doomsday Clock has moved a few minutes away from midnight. It's again OK to say the word "steak" among mixed company and not risk a lecture from a born-again vegetarian. In the future, when I start to show early symptoms of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, I might be forced to eat my words, but at the moment, I'm proud to say that I like steak! And so it was that I finally accepted David's invitation to dine at the London Steak House. Naturally, there is only one thing to order when you're at a steak restaurant steak. But to start our meals, I chose the borscht (zł. 10) and David the avocado and shrimp salad (zł. 24).
My soup was perfect: light and sweet, and not too much salt with a big handful of little meat-filled dumplings. David's salad, large shelled prawns atop fanned slices of avocado, came smothered in bright-orange cocktail sauce. Teamed with a complimentary basket of garlic bread, it was almost too much for David who became misty eyed and started reminiscing about youthful evenings spent back in Australia at the local R.S.L. The R.S.L. - or rissole as it is affectionately called in Aussie parlance - is a Returned and Services League club. Any city or town worth its salt has a RSL where World War II veterans and underage drinkers can get a prawn cocktail, a cheap steak, and even cheaper beers. There are rock bands for the young, Elvis impersonators for the middle aged, while the elderly can put their entire pension check through the poker machines if they so wish. It's a venue par excellance. But back to our meal: For our main course, we tossed a coin and David got the T-bone (zł. 55), while I got the so-called "London steak (zł. 49)." Most of the other diners in the restaurant - of which there were quite a few - were also doing their bit to help Poland's flagging beef sales.
And our steaks came just as we'd requested: medium-well. David's T-bone glistened lusciously on the plate, while my large fillet looked just as appetizing. The vegetables appeared to be of the frozen variety, but the french fries - mine crinkle cut and David's potato wedges - brought us to a momentary standstill as we engaged in some mutual chip appreciation. As for the steaks, David swooned over his: tender, tasty and perfectly cooked. I wasn't so impressed with mine. It too was tender, and tasty, but it was a coarse-grained fillet when I had longings for the dense meat of a New York cut or a Scotch fillet. This particular dining creation also featured a slice of cheese. To me, steak and cheese go together like nylon underwear and a hot summer's day - completely inappropriate. The menu also boasted that the London steak came with special BBQ sauce. Thankfully the sauce came on the side in a little pot so I could avoid it altogether. Finding the perfect steak in Warsaw that doesn't cost you an arm and a leg can be a bit of a challenge but David reckons his T-bone rose to the challenge. So next time he asks about going to the London Steak House, I'll order the T-bone too - it's either that or wait until an RSL opens here. Dinner for two, including drinks, came to zł. 218 ($53).
