Filling fare, but it won't leave you in the mood to dance
Riding through Ursynow, along ulica Dereniowa, it's nearly impossible to miss the giant sculpture of a Greek column that rises over the stairs and leads to a rather plain building. It's easier to miss the sign that says, "Zorba Restauracja Grecka."
Genie's friend Naomi, our dining partner, had eaten there before and said, "It's very kitsch." Simple as that description is, it best describes the Polish/Mediterranean fusion of the interior design, like a ski lodge with Greek vases. Every inch of this restaurant is decorated to reflect the Adriatic. Happy folk music played on the speakers and filled out the ethnic theme.
From the coat check, we strolled between two white stucco walls that segregated booths from the entry. A waiter, who spotted us immediately, rushed over and greeted us. Seeing our blank stares as he spoke, he inquired if we would like our menus in English.
"Tak yes," we responded.
He led Genie and I to a booth in the corner where we flipped through the binder that the waiter had given us for a menu. It wasn't quite "War and Peace," but if you go there, leave yourself ample time to peruse this multi-paged menu. It was divided into many sections; cold starters (zl. 8.50-zl. 16.90), hot starters (zl. 9.90-zl. 28.50), salads (zl. 6-zl. 13.50), soups (zl. 9.90-zl. 10.90), fish (zl. 26.75-zl. 39.90), grilled meats (zl. 26.75-zl. 36.75), and on through categories such as gourmet grilled meats, souvlaki, dishes for multiple people and dishes straight from the stove. The menu also featured a selection of children's portions for zl. 15.
While waiting for Naomi to arrive, we examined the two pages labeled "wine." It was a simple list, consisting of house wines divided into categories such as "dry red" or "sweet white," which were all priced the same and available by the glass (zl. 6.50), half carafe (zl. 22), or carafe (zl. 43). Other wines (zl. 37-zl. 54) were also divided into categories and labeled simply by the vintner's name, denying the wine aficionado the chance to show off.
Focusing on the "dry red" category, Genie looked down at the selection labeled "Nausa" and quipped, "Let's not get the nausea."
I liked the name Aleksander (zl. 44), so we played roulette and ordered it, along with three mineral waters. Our waitress returned with a bottle of Tsantali, Alexandros 1998 Xinomavro Merlot and displayed it proudly, the label toward us. The seal was already cut and she removed the cork, which showed no unusual signs of wear.
The cork was lightly stained, suggesting that the bottle had been stored upright, and bore the light fragrance you would expect from this variety. It was not the wimpy California-style Merlot, but had a subtle complexity that added a slight darkness to the very smooth wine.
When Naomi arrived we were still a little overwhelmed by the size of the menu. To get a good idea of the realm of the more than two dozen choices of appetizers, we ordered cold and hot sampler plates (pikilia zl. 21.90 and zesti pikilia zl. 32.90).
Some of them were quite tasty. They had the best dolmas (stuffed grape leaves) I have had since arriving in Poland. The roasted pepper stuffed with feta was also delicious. And the cold salads offered a palette for the palate. But overall, the appetizers lacked finesse, particularly the hot ones. The pastries and grilled meats and sausage were greasy and the fried cheese was tough enough to be used as a doorstop.
Naomi was unhappy with the heavy start to our meal and proclaimed. "This place really lacks the feeling of a chef."
We mingled over these for a good long while and were almost full when our wonderful waitress, Gosia, made suggestions for main courses. She apologized profusely for her English, which we had thought was excellent. Naomi followed her advice and ordered the Zorba plate (zl. 37.90), a mixed grill plate. To try their vegetarian fare, Genie chose the Gemista (zl. 27.90), stuffed tomatoes and peppers. For contrast, I ordered the Tiganaki (zl. 34.75), pork and mushrooms in a white sauce.
My tiganaki turned out to be little more than meat chunks and mushrooms in gravy, with french fries and vegetables. It was palatable, but nothing to write home about. The golden-brown fries were the highlight of the plate, and Genie couldn't resist stealing some spuds when she thought I wasn't looking.
Her tomatoes and peppers were stuffed with spicy rice in tomato sauce and amounted to four, giant stuffed greaseballs. "I like it," she said, "but I don't like it swimming in all of this oil. If it were served alone on a dry plate, they would be wonderful."
We plucked away at Naomi's mixed grill, which featured a variety of well-seasoned meats including a small pork chop, skewers and lamb, along with fries and mousaka. She seemed to have the best plate of the three, but good grilled meats can be found at a lot of restaurants for less money.
Naomi summed it up well, "If you want to go to a kitsch Greek place where they throw huge platters of food at you, indiscriminately placed, loaded with lots of grease and sauce, you'll like this place."
After the very generous portions on all of our plates, we were stuffed, and needed some coffee to keep us propped up. Though none of us had room for more, we felt obliged to sample the baklava (zl. 17). We ordered three cappuccinos and one dessert.
Our continually charming waitress placed the dessert on the table with a momentary look of panic. "Just a moment, I forgot the Greek flag," Gosia exclaimed and scurried away, returning almost immediately smiling with the cocktail flag and three coffees.
The baklava was as heavy as the rest of the food. The pastry, which is supposed to form many delicate layers over nuts and honey, was but a thin, butter-saturated covering over the thick and rich filling. It was topped with whipped cream and a little chocolate syrup. And accompanied by two scoops of French vanilla ice cream. All three of us found the ice cream better than the pastry.
Even the cappuccinos (zl. 7.90) were topped with whipped cream instead of steamed milk.
The excellent service could not save this restaurant from the food, which though served in generous portions, was too greasy and pricey. Dinner for three with wine and one dessert came to zl. 272.05 ($66.34) far too much for a meal lacking finesse. The check should have been accompanied with a certificate for a free workout at a local health club or discount on bypass surgery. Warsaw offers many finer restaurants in the same price range.
