Getting past the "three crazy" mark is trying, but necessary
You get a new job, start a new venture or get involved with network marketing. Someone says, "You're crazy." Then, someone else says, "You're crazy." Then someone else says, "You're crazy." And then, you quit. That's the three "you're crazy" rule, and most people can't get past it. Can you?
You took the new position, or went out on your own, or got involved for one or more of these three reasons:
You really liked it and thought it would be fun to do.
The opportunity was fantastic, and you thought you could make (earn) money, or gain the experience you needed.
You thought it would get you closer to achieving your dreams.
People who tell you you're crazy are known as "pukers." Their job is to make you feel stupid, inadequate or incapable of making good judgments. Pukers are people to avoid at all costs. Here are some early warning signals someone is puking on you.
They tell you to get a real job.
They share examples of failure.
They ridicule your judgment.
They make fun of the imagined outcome.
They tell you you're sure to lose your money and fail miserably.
Whew! What a drag it is to hear that kind of stuff. Why can't they just encourage you, or support you, or ask if they can help you succeed, or just say, "Way to go!" Why are they saying, "You're crazy"? Why do people put you down instead of build you up? Here are some insights that will warm your heart. The main reasons others puke on you are:
Their own limited self-image.
Their own low self-esteem.
A low opinion of you.
A jealousy of you.
An envy of you.
An environmental reaction (as in theirs sucks).
An attitude reaction (as in theirs sucks).
A reaction of ignorance (as in they're stupid).
So, the first thing to think when someone so graciously pukes on you is, "Cool. It ain't me."
OK, they're pukers. What do I do about it? How do I handle it? What's the first step to "Pepto Bismol-ing" them? Here's a one-word clue: look.
Look at their car.
Look at their career.
Look at their attitude.
Look at their success.
Look at their lifestyle.
Look at their happiness.
If you wouldn't trade places with them, then who's crazy?
But, that's not the remedy, that's just the set-up for understanding how to change your perception of the situation. Here are a few "puke-stoppers:"
Your first inclination is to puke back, but don't. Don't stoop to their level rise above it.
Say, "You might be right. I'll keep you posted with my progress. By the way, if it starts to pay off, when do you want me to give you a chance to get involved?"
Be cool and lead by example.
Change your environment. Find places where success is occurring.
Change your associations. Hang around successful people.
Don't talk about what you're going to do, just do it.
You see, the only remedy to shut them up and make them go away is your own success. And even after you begin to succeed, beware of the eternal puker. The definition of an eternal puker is, even when you get to success, he'll say, "It won't last." Pathetic, aren't they? The real remedy is to do it for yourself, not for them. They don't matter.
Memorize and repeat this mantra as you self-actualize your success: "The main reason people will rain on my parade is because they have no parade of their own."
Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of "The Sales Bible," and "Customer Satisfaction is Worthless, Customer Loyalty is Priceless." President of Charlotte-based Buy Gitomer, he gives seminars, runs annual sales meetings, and conducts training programs on selling and customer service. Inquiries should be sent to the WBJ by fax at (48-22)
646-0576 or directly via e-mail gitomer@salesman.com
