Just when you thought it was all over ...
Now read this. Enlargement negotiations on the accession of 10 countries - Cyprus, the Czech Republic, Estonia, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Malta, Poland, Slovakia and Slovenia - began in Brussels last Thursday.
Some mistake, surely? Haven't we already been there and done that?
Yes and no. The negotiations just getting underway are for accession to the European Economic Area (EEA), which comprises all the EU member states plus Iceland, Liechtenstein and Norway. The latter has said "no thanks" to full membership twice.
These three non-EU member states, which seem quite happy to carry on in splendid isolation, nevertheless enjoy the full benefits of the EU internal market which, with their participation, is known as the EEA.
All three have to pay contributions towards the running of the extended EU internal market from which they benefit, and they now have to be persuaded to increase those contributions to match the increased benefits they will get when the 15 EU countries become 25 next year.
How much extra they should pay and whether there should be transition periods will involve months of wrangling. There's even a row to be had over whether there should be increased quotas for agricultural products to reflect the rise in the EU population when the 10 newcomers become full members at the start of May next year.
It's all very complicated and it raises the question: could countries like Poland have stayed out of the EU and gained all the benefits of the EU single market, just like Iceland, Liechtenstein, and Norway?
It's certainly a relatively hassle-free way of enjoying the fundamentals of EU club membership without having to take on the more onerous duties, such as meeting EU standards on vehicle emissions or granting work permits and residency rights to all sorts of foreigners, or getting mangled in the common agricultural policy. All the pleasures, no tariffs, free trade, job and settlement rights, but none of the pain. For these three non-EU-but-part-of-the-single-market countries, there is no agonising over harmonised asylum and immigration rules, approximated VAT rates and participation in a common defence policy.
Instead they enjoy a good old-fashioned favourable trading regime with near neighbours and, to those who say EU membership is all about never going to war again, it's arguable that the EU links enjoyed by Liechtenstein, Iceland and Norway effectively include that useful provision (two are in NATO anyway).
Too late now, of course: Poland and the other nine have signed up for the all-included menu instead of the a la carte version.
And so far, more than a year away from membership on May Day 2004, the Poles can claim to have made the most impact, but not entirely the one reported at home. They've managed the athletic trick of getting their feet firmly under the EU table at Copenhagen, while treading on everyone else's toes at the same time. The French were thoroughly trampled, and are still sulking. Danish toes, in particular, received the full treatment, because they came under the greatest exposure to Polish behaviour, as the official hosts. As is now well-documented, Prime Minister Leszek Miller's insistence on more money for the Poles for joining the EU took the negotiations to the brink. The champagne stayed corked for hours. Worse still, as Denmark's Europe minister Bertel Haarder insists on telling anyone who will listen, Queen Margrethe was left with her napkin folded at the dinner table.
The Poles were "so difficult," Haarder complained to a meeting in Brussels of business folk just before Christmas, that the talks "dragged on and on and on," adding 10 hours to the summit negotiations. In the end, the summit's social peak, a grand banquet for EU leaders in royal company, was cancelled altogether. Quelle horreur!
At this point in the story, Haarder is speaking through gritted teeth and adds, just to make things clear, "We never got to see the Queen."
But the food did not go to waste: thanks to the total absence of demonstrations at the summit, the police had little to do, and quite a few were invited to enjoy the spread - although the Queen didn't join them.
So thank you, Poland, from the police force of Copenhagen, but no thanks from Bertel Haarder, who is quite probably sticking pins into a crudely wrought effigy of Leszek Miller even as we speak. He's not the only one.
Geoff Meade is the European Union editor of the Press Association.
Some mistake, surely? Haven't we already been there and done that?
Yes and no. The negotiations just getting underway are for accession to the European Economic Area (EEA), which comprises all the EU member states plus Iceland, Liechtenstein and Norway. The latter has said "no thanks" to full membership twice.
These three non-EU member states, which seem quite happy to carry on in splendid isolation, nevertheless enjoy the full benefits of the EU internal market which, with their participation, is known as the EEA.
All three have to pay contributions towards the running of the extended EU internal market from which they benefit, and they now have to be persuaded to increase those contributions to match the increased benefits they will get when the 15 EU countries become 25 next year.
How much extra they should pay and whether there should be transition periods will involve months of wrangling. There's even a row to be had over whether there should be increased quotas for agricultural products to reflect the rise in the EU population when the 10 newcomers become full members at the start of May next year.
It's all very complicated and it raises the question: could countries like Poland have stayed out of the EU and gained all the benefits of the EU single market, just like Iceland, Liechtenstein, and Norway?
It's certainly a relatively hassle-free way of enjoying the fundamentals of EU club membership without having to take on the more onerous duties, such as meeting EU standards on vehicle emissions or granting work permits and residency rights to all sorts of foreigners, or getting mangled in the common agricultural policy. All the pleasures, no tariffs, free trade, job and settlement rights, but none of the pain. For these three non-EU-but-part-of-the-single-market countries, there is no agonising over harmonised asylum and immigration rules, approximated VAT rates and participation in a common defence policy.
Instead they enjoy a good old-fashioned favourable trading regime with near neighbours and, to those who say EU membership is all about never going to war again, it's arguable that the EU links enjoyed by Liechtenstein, Iceland and Norway effectively include that useful provision (two are in NATO anyway).
Too late now, of course: Poland and the other nine have signed up for the all-included menu instead of the a la carte version.
And so far, more than a year away from membership on May Day 2004, the Poles can claim to have made the most impact, but not entirely the one reported at home. They've managed the athletic trick of getting their feet firmly under the EU table at Copenhagen, while treading on everyone else's toes at the same time. The French were thoroughly trampled, and are still sulking. Danish toes, in particular, received the full treatment, because they came under the greatest exposure to Polish behaviour, as the official hosts. As is now well-documented, Prime Minister Leszek Miller's insistence on more money for the Poles for joining the EU took the negotiations to the brink. The champagne stayed corked for hours. Worse still, as Denmark's Europe minister Bertel Haarder insists on telling anyone who will listen, Queen Margrethe was left with her napkin folded at the dinner table.
The Poles were "so difficult," Haarder complained to a meeting in Brussels of business folk just before Christmas, that the talks "dragged on and on and on," adding 10 hours to the summit negotiations. In the end, the summit's social peak, a grand banquet for EU leaders in royal company, was cancelled altogether. Quelle horreur!
At this point in the story, Haarder is speaking through gritted teeth and adds, just to make things clear, "We never got to see the Queen."
But the food did not go to waste: thanks to the total absence of demonstrations at the summit, the police had little to do, and quite a few were invited to enjoy the spread - although the Queen didn't join them.
So thank you, Poland, from the police force of Copenhagen, but no thanks from Bertel Haarder, who is quite probably sticking pins into a crudely wrought effigy of Leszek Miller even as we speak. He's not the only one.
Geoff Meade is the European Union editor of the Press Association.
