Negotiate to win for the other guy

The object of negotiating is winning, or is it?

What about the other guy? If you win, does that mean he loses? No. That's where the phrase win-win came from. It's to make the guy who didn't fare as well still feel OK. Or like he or she got a fair deal.

What are your negotiating strategies? Do you have any? Or do you just enter each deal and do the best you can?

Negotiate/Negotiation - (Webster definition) - To treat with another respecting purchase and sale; to hold diplomatic intercourse; diplomatic bargaining; to conduct communications in general. To meet, communicate or confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter, or some kind of agreement or compromise about something. Come to terms. (see also: hammer, squeezing blood from a turnip).

Jeffrey Gitomer definition: Discussion with compromise between two or more parties that leads to an agreement, sale, resolution, or impasse. Sometimes negotiations fail, but it's never the fault of the person explaining what happened.

But definitions are of little value in the heat of negotiations. It takes strategies and tactics. Let's look at your prospect, customer, opponent, divorcing spouse. The other guy:

• Will lie.

• Will change the deal to suit him or herself.

• Wants it all his or her way.

• Will withhold important facts until the end of the negotiation.

• Will pull a deal breaker out just when you think it's a deal.

• Will never tell you he can't (or won't) do

the deal.

• Will hammer your price.

Makes it a bit harder to win. So, what can you do to win the day and win the deal, and still make your opponent feel like a winner?

Here are a few lessons and strategies I've encountered over the years. To be a great negotiator, you must study negotiations. To learn pointers, you must study pointers. Here are some to master:

- Negotiate with yourself first. Run through all the possible outcomes and develop strategies for as many as you can. Make notes and bring them with you.

- Don't offer anything you wouldn't take.

- No deal or negotiation is ever one time. Don't burn a bridge. Be honorable and look for the long term in all dealings.

- Uncover the true objection or obstacle. By listening, questioning, and qualifying, you can ferret out the real stumbling block.

- Take the blame, win the point. Fault is less important than winning.

- Take notes. It helps you to remember points, and to avoid interrupting.

- Know your trump and when to play it. Save your best tactic, most valuable information, best price or benefit until you need it. Use it as a closing tool, or in an "if I …, would you …" situation.

- Ask a closing question at the start that can precede (or preclude) the actual negotiation. "What would you like to do?" or "Is that what you really want?"

- Ask them to be you. To break an impasse ask the other person to walk in your shoes.

- Get to the (real) objections quickly. By finding out the true objections early, you have a better chance of getting to deal without major hassle. Often the real objection is masked by a stall like "think it over," or "check with partner."

- In negotiation, preparation can beat size and strength. Learn the rule(s) of David and Goliath, as seen from David's side: Get to know the enemy; know your objective; be cool even if the opponent is bigger and stronger; know how to use your weapon(s); practice to be accurate; know when to shoot.

• Everything is negotiable. All prices and terms have latitude (or room to move), if you have the right approach or make the offer/concession.

• Beat this price/match this price. Is price the last consideration? Double qualify that the price is the only issue left. If you must give price, get terms.

• Think of yourself as a winner no matter what the outcome.

Want to know the best strategy? Adopt the right philosophy before you start. Look at the famous Zig Ziglar quote, "getting everything you want by helping others get what they want." That's a win-win for everyone. Learning the "art" of negotiating is a misnomer. Negotiating is a science. The only art is how you deploy the tactics.

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of "The Sales Bible," and "Customer Satisfaction is Worthless, Customer Loyalty is Priceless." President of North Carolina-based Buy Gitomer, he gives seminars, runs annual sales meetings, and conducts training programs on selling and customer service. He can be e-mailed at salesman@gitomer.com

Jeffrey Gitomer