Speak up, and often, so that others can hear you
Here are three action ideas that will get you on the "healing" track: " Dwell on the past victories and successes. remind yourself of when you did it, not when you didn't.
" Write down why you have the fear. Many people have fear and are clueless as to the cause. Sometimes that self-discovery is enough to make it dissipate or disappear.
" Feed your head. I strongly recommend "The Strangest Secret" by Earl Nightingale. It's a 30-minute lesson about the reality of your self-thinking. Recorded in the late 1950s, it is still the single most powerful personal development message available today. Don't just listen to it, study it.
Here are a few more exercises you can perform to build your confidence to speak or present - and heal your fears. " "The Little Engine that Could." This is a book that was your first lesson in positive attitude and self-belief. You got it when you were two or three years old and somehow let it slip away once your business cards were printed. Go out and buy this book today. Make it an integral part of your library and a regular part of your reading.
" Other books. I've prepared a list of books that I recommend below as a GitBit. But there are two words in books that will help boost your self-confidence more than any other two. They are Dale Carnegie. His 70-year-old volumes on winning friends, stopping worry and effective speaking are still the benchmark for building self-confidence.
" Practice alone. By speaking into a tape and listening to it, by walking on a beach and speaking to yourself, by sitting in your room with the door shut and reading aloud, over time you will improve. Fifteen minutes a day is all you need.
" Record yourself. There is no better teacher than a recording of your own voice. You have two options. You can listen to it and think how bad you are or you can listen to it and note where you can improve and work at that. Your choice. Self-recording is the single biggest element in self-improvement.
" Join Toastmasters. Wherever you live, a Toastmasters is close by. Go to www.toastmasters.org and join a club in your area. Toastmasters is an easy, fun, inexpensive, non-threatening, supportive environment for you to improve your presentation and speaking skills. Ask any member.
" Get a peer group and give your talks to each another. Five friends or business colleagues gathered in a living room once a week, giving a five-minute presentation to one another, is better time spent than watching any rerun. It will build confidence, skills and friendships.
" Lead a committee at a business organization. Be a spokesperson for some action committee. Lead the completion of an idea or project.
" Test your prowess in a safe atmosphere. Speak for free at local civic groups. Every weekly group needs a 15-minute speaker. It should be you. The atmosphere is safe, and who knows, you may make a great contact or even a sale.
" Have some fun. Call a radio talk show. It's anonymous and you get to say what you feel. It's a passionate expression. Record it and see how it compares to your other recordings. I'll bet it's better.
" Videotape yourself giving a speech or presentation. Wanna know how good you really are (or aren't)? Taping it is the only way. Video is best.
Afraid to speak or make a speech? Afraid of what? If you can answer that question, the fears will go away.
GitBit Want a great list of books that will build your success library - and your success if you read them? Go to www.gitomer.com, register if you're a first-time user, and enter the words SALES PILLS in the GitBit box.
Jeffrey Gitomer, author of "The Sales Bible" and "Customer Satisfaction is Worthless, Customer Loyalty is Priceless," is the president of North Carolina-based Buy Gitomer. He gives seminars, runs annual sales meetings and conducts training programs on selling and customer service. He can be e-mailed at salesman@gitomer.com.
